No post today. One hundred years after the end of WW1, it’s a day for contemplation and joining the collective consciousness in seeking to usher in an era of peace on earth.
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Meditation:
20 mins of MEDITATION? YES, at 11am…
Exercise:
ONE HOUR OF EXERCISE? YES – good walk, and Movements
Diet:
BRAIN-MAKER DIET? NO
DRY today? NO
MORNING: Sausages and rice; coffee
AFTERNOON: Roast chicken (with potatoes); Indian takeaway snacks (late), glass org red wine
Add sauerkraut!! NB We’re going for gut-repopulation
beautiful day’s work coaching a team of university students to pitch for funding to do an artistic project (they were successful)
feeling in my flow with the work, facilitating others’ potential and innate gifts
being able to go to the shops and get food
going out with loved ones to a restaurant – laughing, sharing, eating
small oxytocin fest with my Love before the end of the day
And so today. It’s a highly significant time. Tomorrow is 11/11, marking 100 years since the end of WW1. My heart is full. I’ve been (like everyone) full of tears about these days and the recollection of grievous loss of precious life. I am open to change. I am open to learning. I am ready to walk through tomorrow’s gateway with a firm intention to detach from my Old, and embrace my/our/the collective New. Now is the time. These are the days.
I had a powerful session reading Reality Transurfing this morning. Perfectly, sadly, it touched on the subject of alcohol today. Look at this brilliant assessment:
‘Alcohol is pure energy. When you drink alcohol you get energy on credit. Alcohol induced euphoria is like an energy advance and the subsequent hangover the return {repayment} with interest. You always have to give back more than you borrowed. Pendulums never give away energy for free without profiting somehow from the transaction.’ (p592 Reality Transurfing)
Yes, I really resonate with the idea that alcohol is a ‘pendulum’ that lends you energy and then takes it back with interest – either as a hangover, or just by having stolen your mental energy and time, which otherwise you could have used to meet your actual goals of the heart (eg. being with family, completing your work for the day). Zeland adds tobacco, coffee, tea and even chewing gum into this category – any substance which appears to give a quickly-delivered burst of comfort. energy, relief or euphoria. And then this:
‘Positive energy is never emitted in such large quantities.’ p594.
Yes! Let’s say it again for emphasis…!
‘Positive energy is never emitted in such large quantities’ [as are delivered, in bursts, by negative energy sources, like alcohol]
Indeed! Meditation, qigong, walking, breathing exercises…. all take time, patience, trust…before gently, subtly, the benefit is softly delivered…. the uplift occurs gently…. Maybe this is why I’m reticent to give the time required to the healthy activities. My dopamine-grabbing brain is just loving the burst-delivery mechanisms!
So how to spring ourselves free of the dependency on the little ‘bursts’ of energy we come to crave…? Zeland writes:
‘All dependency arises because the arrow of attention has been caught in the pendulum’s noose. In order to “come off the needle” you have to switch your attention to something else. Will power is rarely enough to free yourself from the noose in the same way that you can only get a song out of your head when you switch to a different tune. A harmful habit is as a rule accompanied by a specific script and set of scenery…. There is only one way to pay off all your debts and walk away from the grievous bank: change the script and scenery. If is not difficult to do, you just have to do it and then apply a little imagination.’ (RT p596)
I knew immediately what that meant for me: to switch my attention, as a matter of priority, from my current (professional/personal/speaking in the world) themes of ‘mental health (aka illness)’, addiction, death and dying, suicide prevention, disability, welfare systems, loneliness…. to the positive opposite: healthy living, wellness, human potential!
Well, I instantly felt my toes curl… I can’t go out into the world talking about ‘health, wellness and human potential’! (I can even hear myself saying it in a mocking voice..!) And noting this took me straight back to a few pages earlier in RT (p581-583), when I had been struck by the reminder of the rules of pendulums, which Zeland notes the Indigos (like me) came to push against and to hold themselves to the rule of the transurfing:
Pendulums’ rule is: “If you want to survive, do as I do” (CONFORM)
Transurfing rule: “Be yourself, and allow others to do the same.” (BE TRUE / FOLLOW YOUR BLISS / As a bright student said yesterday, ‘Find out what you love to do and then keep doing more of it.’)
Well, the part of me that recoils from ‘talking about health, wellness and human potential’ is the part of me which recoils from Pendulums – and gets round the sadness of not following my bliss by using substances for energy burst. On the other hand, the part of me that wants to talk about health, wellness and human potential, is the part which is being swept up warmly into the Alternatives flow, happily, naturally and… without (egoic?) resistance.
[I have a friend who was super-cool and maybe somewhat aloof at school. A few years ago, I became aware via social media, she had opened a beauty therapy business. That was so out of conformity with the norms of our previously shared intellectually-snobbish world. I wondered how she had found the courage to face down everyone’s presumed snobbishness?! I recalled that maybe she had addiction issues along the way? Anyway, clearly, something powerful had happened for her to bust out of our collective consciousness (or unconsciousness) and be herself. I have been heartened by watching her revel more and more in her work and art and skills and business online. Meanwhile the civilised elite, sit at home chafing against the callings of their one true heart…. ]
So. Time to bring it all together for today. There’s work to be done!
The ‘switch’ mechanism. Can you play with that today?
I guess so. In what way?
Switching attention is best done accompanied by embodied action. So can you practise ‘switching’ by moving into a different activity and mode physically? Get used to the feeling of getting energy by positive action, rather than by knocking back substances such as coffee, alcohol, tea, chocolate, food for quick bursts of energy.
So often when I teach mental health and ask people how they look after their own wellbeing they laugh (note the giveaway) about running purely on coffee, cakes, biscuits! Ho ho… feed the pendulums, why don’t we?!
Softly. Switching out of the ‘quick fix’ pattern needs compassion to self and other.
So are you asking me to kind of zig zag in terms of what I do today? What about rebranding myself…? I’d like to say I work in ‘health, wellness and human potential’ and suck up the pendulum-shocks.
Softly, sweet one. Just get agile at switching activity, without hesitation or deviation. Train your brain to follow your will.
I’ve got lots of writing / work to do today, at the laptop
The Pomodoro Technique
Perfect practice ground. Use the Pomodoro technique to mix up activities. You will find that you get used to wrenching yourself out of the head-zone, and it becomes easier. And then 20 minutes at the laptop is used efficiently, because you know it’s only 20 minutes. And then you’re up, to run round the block for 20 minutes, or call a friend for 20 minutes, or … well, as much as possible, use the next 20 minutes to ‘give yourself a break from the benefits of civilisation (p597). Then work again… 20:20:20… 20 mins of laptop… 20 mins of something uncivilised / simple / chopwoodcarrywater … and repeat.
You wanted to switch your attention human potential. Here’s your first lesson. 🙂
Haha. Ok! I hear you. Sounds crunchy and inconvenient and possibly brilliant!
There we go. Lift off – with naturally-induced energy, not fuelled by fixation / caffeine / heart-dodging. Welcome to health and wellness.
I’ve had a look at the Pomodoro website – and this video
How many pomodoros required for an activity? Learn to estimate accurately..
Protect your pomodoro time
Use part of your pomodoro times for recap and review
Pomodoro times are 25 mins, plus break = 2 per hour
We are suggesting you focus on Switching Attention – so shorts bursts of 20 mins on a roll. It may be that you are effectively going Work / Break / Work / Break. That is find. This is what we are suggesting you do.
Then I shall! I’ll set my alarm for 20 mins and just keep resetting it. Let’s see how we go…
Today I am practising Switching Attention.
Hm… I’m suddenly imagining that mastering Switching Attention is actually a really good way to refine Holding Attention.. Right?! Let’s see. It’s 12.15. I’ll start at 12.20pm. I think I had a dream about this a few years ago…
Softly. Softly. Rest in awareness. This is a gentle discipline, not an obstacle race…
Got it.
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Meditation:
MEDITATION? 5 mins
Exercise:
EXERCISE? YES! 2 x bursts of 10 minute trots!
Diet:
BRAIN-MAKER DIET? NEARLY
DRY today? NO
MORNING: My muesli; coffee and cream; chicken soup, spinach, raw celery, pate
AFTERNOON: Indian takeaway box from supermarket; organic red wine
PSNS (parasympathetic nervous system) activation work… omg… so good
inching forward with work, while horizontal in bed
first practice with a new band <3
So this Parasympathetic Nervous System (PSNS) activation work is VITAL. This is breakthrough material.. again!
Today is the day when you lay the path for tomorrow. (Every day.)
What can / shall I do today to lay the path for a better tomorrow?
Work /act / start from a state of PSNS – this is the only ‘sane’ state of mind with which to enter a world which is wired, fried and hopped up on fear.
Accept that new patterns and habits are best deployed tenderly and in a timely fashion.
Thank you. So if I want to start my days with PSNS activation… I am looking at…
Busting out of bed, sweetcheeks.
Yes. I have my lovely wing-backed chair to write in; my meditation stool to ‘sit’ upon; my trainers to put on my feet and get out for an early morning walk. Those are the key elements, no?
Your ‘coffee in bed’ ritual gets in the way. Can you take your coffee to the Writing Chair?
Yes, siree, I can. Especially if I put the heating on in the office when I get out of bed. I can put an oil heater in there… And the Morning Walk or Qigong? And the Morning Meditation?
We suggest an experimental approach. Try switching it all up in the mornings, and see if you can measure which routine soothes the system best. Remember the principle is this: ‘there’s no point in trying to ‘work’ without first activating the PSNS.‘ This is the point of the (any) morning routine.
Ok. Good. Got it. An experimental approach. Yesterday I noted how I had ‘calmed the SNS and activated my PSNS’ on post-its. Maybe I’ll keep that noting practice going for a few days.
Yes. Noting is good. And remember: it’s all about Soothing The System. This is the first step of self-care.
Today I am Soothing My System.
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Well, there’s nothing like actual tracking my day to see how Intention and Action can be so far removed from each other.However I did take some positive actions to Soothe My System…
Today I Soothed My System in these ways:
I meditated briefly, and did 3 or 4 qigong centring gestures
I embedded some long-out-breathing in my day
I remembered that a little (homeopathic) bit of mediation and qigong is farrrrr better than none at all – it reminds the system of what it already knows.
I gave myself enough time to get ready to go.
Realised this important factor:
‘Rest’ (stillness, PJ paralysis, being in bed) does not lead to activated PSNS
Activating the PSNS (which is an active process) does lead to ‘rest and digest’
I realised this – as a child I was mis-taught (threatened with #fake news) the idea that ‘success’ evades us unless we are prepared to:
leap into the hot fire of the SNS
hemorrhage energy outwards to others
I jiggled and bobbed around when feeling stress in the system
Decided to look up ASMR
Considered taking up monthly TRE sessions
I am learning so much. Now… to put it in to action.
Amen.
Meditation:
20 mins of MEDITATION? – Just 5 mins – in a rush out in the morning for a job
Exercise:
ONE HOUR OF EXERCISE? NO
SOME MEANINGFUL/SOOTHING EXERCISE? NO ://// What’s happening?
#STEPS – few
Diet:
BRAIN-MAKER DIET? NO
DRY today? NO
MORNING: My muesli; Coffee&cream; veg sticks & houmous; chickpea puffs
AFTERNOON: celery&creamcheese; G&T; Nandos with family (incl chips.. could have had chicken salad);2 ciders; beer
working with university students on their creative project (I’ll help them pitch their proposal / plan to the university tomorrow)
my training colleague, who is great to work with, flexible, generous and fun
the university colleagues who were welcoming and warm
writing and QT (quiet time)
the practice-which-wasn’t…
‘Appreciating the seemingly boring practices from a heart-centred place’ basically involved me watching, from a heart-centred place of curiosity and compassion, how cleverly and completely I dodged some of the ‘boring’ practices and activities that would give me inner stability…! For example, last night, rather than quietly sitting down and finishing up the day, or doing my emails, at home after my afternoon of training, I handed my mind and body over to a fest of food/drink/radio/social-media/youtube. I felt ashamed as I did it… crouched down on the foot stool in the kitchen, next to the oven and radio… zoning out. I know it had been an intense day… but I was dismayed how quickly I crashed and burned. My vague intention had been to write an article that evening. Ha! So… what’s the learning? I’m sensing there’s something around stimming…
Stimming activities are indeed the ‘non-boring’ activities for you. They have an immersive quality to them. This writing is stimming for you. You are ‘lost’ in it, deliciously. Everything is flowing, light, regenerative, tickling, ‘stimulating‘. “Thank you for a stimulating evening!” is the very opposite to “My goodness, what a boring / tedious / draining evening…” Yes?
Yes! But, most of the executive or interpersonal tasks of life don’t fit into my stimming paradigm. Would that they did! I do like hanging up laundry (as does a fiend of mine..) – because it’s sensory, touchy, orderly… I wished I loved emails or something useful. Like coders stim with coding, or a graphic designer might get satisfaction out of creating something beautiful, or a scientist might get pleasure out of research…
Wait up, dear soul. Come back… You are looking for the sensory-psychological satisfaction externally…. This is the valuable learning: you can self-generate the stim sensation. What stimming does is allow your autonomic nervous system (ANS) to reset itself. It’s like taking the system offline so work can be done on it. You can do that yourself, by accustoming yourself to self-generated inner stability – which then you take out into the external world.
Notice: when you did the ‘attend neutrally’ mediation practice [on Monday]…. when you then went out into the world, the world seemed so ‘easy’, so ‘flowy’, so ‘generous’. Yes? In the simplest terms, your mediation practice calmed your ANS so very much that you were able to perceive the world more truly as it is, which is generous, flowy and easy.
So, would it be true to say we have a choice of how we run our days?:
Option 1:
stim out the morning delightfully (eg by writing)
crunch into the cold, harsh world and suck up the strain/pain
come home and crash, and stim out the evening with distraction / avoidance / dodging life’s exigencies
Option 2:
prepare the ANS for the day ahead, with meditation / qigong / gut-friendly food / energetic-balancing
move into the day keeping boundaries clear and enjoying the ‘generous, flowy and easy’ nature of things
come home and decompress carefully and appreciatively and mindfully…
You’re on to something powerful here.
I avoid my morning practices. I’d love to jump out of bed – go for a jog/walk in the sunlight – practice qigong – do my extensive meditation… But I get cowed by the day ahead… and I take my coffee and nuzzle into bed… I do all my morning writing and meditation in bed….
No wonder the world feels like a harsh, hard shock to your ANS when you emerge… You are asking it to go from 0 – 60.
What even IS the autonomic nervous system? I don’t know. And what was the LightBody we talked about the other day? And are they related?
[Goes and researches ANS]
Oh wow, the ANS is just the Sympathetic (SNS = Flight or flight) and Parasympathetic (PSNS = Rest & Digest) Nervous Systems… as I teach in my training… 🙂 This Khan Academy video is brilliant.
Autonomic Nervous System
So, I imagine, the mediation and qigong and walking and breathing stimulate the PSNS (parasympathetic nervous system) and calm the SNS. I’ve been using stimming to take the edge off my SNS…. Better to use the former, as I did more diligently in 2016-7 healing from the challenging period running up to 2015.
The human light-body (phra-ba’i lus) is the subtle bio-magnetic field in which the physical body is embedded. This psychically generated light-body is an energy template that both orders and parallels the physical body. It extends around the physical body like an electromagnetic egg, forming a spherical bubble about three feet beyond the skin surface, with more subtle radiations flowing out to a distance of as much as fifteen feet. This ‘alternate’ body (for which reason it has sometimes been called the doppelganger) consists of many energy-layers and centers interconnected throughout by a complex circuitry, in many ways matching the physical nervous system. It is, overall, and like the physical body, a multilayered structure.
You know what we’re going to say…
Yes… Focus on the physical ANS for now. Absorb the LightBody stuff lightly… Stay physical.
You mentioned Option 1 and Option 2. What would it look like to get Option 2 off the ground (again)?
I guess I fear it would feel like tearing myself out of a dream…
Excellent. That’s a great starting place. Because if you can stand that process of leaving the ‘dream’, then you are also ‘spelled’ from the ‘nightmare’ of chaotic, unstable, dodging, overwhelming days. You can put your hand on the tiller of your ship again. And really, the shift is not a big one for you. You’ve done it before. You know it works.
So, we’re talking about using ways of activating the PSNS and calming the SNS on a daily basis, before entering ‘the world’, before putting on the ‘Shop Open’ sign, before becoming ‘Available’ for the day? Even if it hurts… Even if I want to stim into oblivion with all my mind…
Yes, sweet soul. That’s right. Fabulous work.
Ok. Lush. I’m feeling this. This is what the MEDS project is about, right? Embodiment… and the crucial, functional, balance-able, receptive elements of the body are the PSNS (and the SNS).
Today you are invited to work with your beautiful parasympathetic nervous system (PSNS), and discover how delicious life is within it’s gently cupped hands.
Thank you.
Today I am working with my parasympathetic nervous system (PSNS)
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Meditation:
20 mins of MEDITATION? NO… How did I drop that after all this?!
Exercise:
ONE HOUR OF EXERCISE? NO – in bed all day (til evening)
Diet:
BRAIN-MAKER DIET? NO
DRY today? NO
MORNING: My muesli, chicken/courgette/saurkraut, tea, coffee
On the topic of earthing and the nervous system, Dr Stephen Sinatra has said that:
As a cardiologist, I repeatedly treated the human wreckage that stress (acute or chronic sympathetic overdrive) can exact. In trying to rebuild and restore the wreckage, I have applied the best tools that both conventional and alternative medicine has to offer. Reconnecting the body to the Earth offers perhaps the most natural tool available anywhere. I’ve seen this simple remedy do some amazing things.
extraordinary national conference (on #socialprescribing)
giving a talk: My social prescribing story
sharing the billing with the Sec of State for Health, Rt Hon Matt Hancock (!) who swung by to announce the government’s plan for Social Prescribing
the incredible love, kindness, warmth, compassion, care I experienced from the people at the conf on giving my (patient voice) story – oh my….. <3
meeting such amazing, talented, passionate people, committed to the health and wellbeing of this nation
winning one of the 3 raffle prizes at the end of the day! – and enjoying our collective sense of delight and amusement in the ‘patient’ getting a cosmic nod. One of the organisers, Prof M, congratulated me heartily afterwards, saying: “God {kiss on the cheek} favours the bold” – which moved me no end.
getting the train back and hitting the last 10 mins of choir, and then going out for a drink with my handsome love, and having someone so caring/astute/kind/loving/profound with whom to share our days’ news
Yesterday was marked by joy, ease, confirmation, affirmation… God does favour the bold! There was a sense of my two ‘identities’ coming together and merging: the ‘professional’ me and the ‘complicated, raw, honest, broken, bold, passionate’ me. And that felt amazing. I felt emboldened by speaking out about my mental health recovery. I felt aligned to that ‘personal credo’ of mine I identified when asked to ponder it a few weeks ago in Reality Transurfing:
My personal credo: we can all be happy
And today, now, continued focus. I have training to deliver at a university, and much work to do in the coming eight days.
Let’s keep it easy and light. ‘Attend neutrally’…
Thank you. Yes, I would love to keep swimming in this flow of wellbeing, confirmation, trust, enjoyment and ease…
Good. And so it is.
What is the thought for the day today, dear heart of my soul?
The Practice
Uhuh, interesting. Tell me more…
We are developing The Practice that sustains health and wellbeing, in a heart-centred state.
Ooh… What should I know, consider, explore along those lines today?
Ask yourself: is the practice ‘boring’? If it is, then it is feeding a part of the being which needs nourishing, and which the ego would deprive of fuel – and deters you from feeding it by flagging it as ‘booorrrringgg’. The (heart-centred) boring practice leads to the interesting life. The overactive, fluxing, titivating practice can lead to rather overly-complex, dissipated days…
So I should enjoy, or relish, or make peace with, the ‘boring’ practices?
Ponder that today.
Today I will embrace ‘boring’ practices… from a heart-centred place.
‘Embrace’ may be too strong/loaded/activated a word…
Today I will appreciate ‘boring’ practices…from a heart-centred place?
There’s your ticket… (But are they boring..?)
Today I am appreciating the seemingly ‘boring’ practices…from a heart-centred place
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Meditation:
20 mins of MEDITATION? NO – eek
Exercise:
ONE HOUR OF EXERCISE? NO – ehem
Diet:
BRAIN-MAKER DIET? NEARLY
DRY today? NO
MORNING: My muesli, coffee with cream, cabbage&scrambled egg& sauerkraut; supplements (probiotic, NAC, Vit D3)
Afternoon/Evening: A cereal bar, a squash drink, a tea; roast chicken and courgette; G&T in tinx2
What do I mean by the Brainmaker diet? My take is a kind of keto, lowcarbhighfat, natural, pre/probiotics… The problem issues for me at the moment are: sneaky carbs, the ‘relaxing’ drink at the end of the day (even if low-carb) and… quantity / timings / overeating
Next:
I need to think about intermittent fasting, I believe. Eg even 16:8… 11am – 7pm… would help – if I had black coffee or green tea in the morning.
I could introduce more of the prebiotic / probiotic foods – kimchi, kefir, pickles…
Sleep:
IN BED WITH MY BOOKS BY 10pm? NEARLY
Screens off: 10.45pm Lights out: 11pm
Wake up the next day: 7.45am Total sleep: 8.5h – YES!
My guided meditation from Insight Timer was brilliant yesterday. It gave me this rich phrase:
“Attend neutrally”
Out of meditating in that state, a new state arose as I got myself out of the house and off for my train trip to London. It went like this…
“My life is so easy these days…”
And I just kept riffing on that phrase internally, introducing it to various moments in my day: “It’s so easy to travel on this train. It’s so easy to walk instead of take the tube. I’ve had my train and hotel covered for me – my life is so easy these days….” And my goodness, the softening that is occurring in me. Just so nourishing. The resistance to life and ‘what is’ is fading away in me… The realisation of ease is dawning.
I’ll be brief today as I’m off to speak about my experience of mental health recovery at a big conference… Eek! Eeeeeeaaaaasssssyyyyyy does it.
Today I am experiencing how easy my life is these days.
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Meditation:
20 mins of MEDITATION? NO
Exercise:
ONE HOUR OF EXERCISE? YES
#STEPS : 10k – walk instead of tube
Diet:
BRAIN-MAKER DIET? NEARLY
DRY today? NO
MORNING: Hotel ham, egg, muesli, yoghurt; conference salmon & salad
EVENING: sausage roll canapes, power bowl at Burrito place, wine, pint of cider
Being a carb-dodger all my life is just going to have to become ingrained (forgive the pun) in me… I will eventually give in to this way of life and be pleased with it. Likewise, being an alcohol-dodger... that needs to settle in me when it can.
Sleep:
IN BED WITH MY BOOKS BY 10pm? NO – super wired by my day
So it turns out, of course, that resting in the moment without escaperising it also means sitting with the discomfort that is arising for healing and deprogramming. Yesterday, after the peaceful morning, I found I felt terribly uncomfortable about my fortnight ahead, which is too full to be believed. To escaperise that discomfort would be to pour some time and energy into future worry and maybe some sneaky, undercover lamenting about other people’s role in my panic… However, sitting WITH my fear and frustration brought to mind the real lesson from the John Callaghan film about addiction/AA: personal responsibility. If I feel fear and frustration, I am responsible for having got there. And, that also means, I can be gloriously responsible for getting myself out of it. The inner discomfort is a signal to reassert personal responsibility. And this, happily, leads us to the state of sovereignty (GSF) that we were after all along. Sounds good, but the journey yesterday was hard. Something helped though…
I came across a book called Self-Observation, by Red Hawk. He talks about the ‘Being shock’ we get when we observe ourselves with some truth (which you can only do in the moment, I guess), as we see how chaotic our thinking its. That ‘Being shock’ is of high value because it provokes the motivation we need to get into ‘Work mind’. Here, the Work is (I assume because of Red Hawk’s sources) as defined by Gurdjieff:
The effort that is put into practice Gurdjieff referred to as “The Work” or “Work on oneself”. According to Gurdjieff, “…Working on oneself is not so difficult as wishing to work, taking the decision.” Ref
This term ‘Work mind’ is helpful to me for two reasons:
1) I am seeking that more stable frame of mind where causing myself to do things like practise the MEDS protocols on a daily basis is not like trying to catch a ferret with a sock.
2) The ‘fear and frustration’ I experienced yesterday was about my professional work, and I am now eager to access frames of mind which allow me to be very efficient in my work, to reach my goals, to undertake work without exhausting myself (or others) and generally feel that I have a sustainable work-life.
Thoughts and guidance, please…
You can enjoy playing with ‘Work mind’. Remember to bring softness to it. This is merely a new avatar to play with: Work Mind [yourname]. Be grateful for the sense of stability it brings. You will get better at sensing when you are leaving ‘Work mind’ state: it feels like a ‘jack-in-the-box’ moment.
I think I know what you mean: when I suddenly turn on the mental turbo chargers and go into overdrive, either with enthusiasm or anxiety.
That’s right. You will enjoy living without that feeling. It used to make you feel like you were ‘doing something’ to counter your perceived threats, when actually you were merely ‘escaperising’ the opportunity to Do The Work.
Amygdala hijack used to feel like being alive.
The ‘jack-in-the-box’ is an entertaining toy…
So, stay in the box…?
Remain contained, observant, attentive to the aim at hand. Even when it feels uncomfortable, and you feel like fleeing the moment.
When it feels uncomfortable, what should I do instead of fleeing / escaperising / jack-in-the-boxing?
Bring awareness to the feeling (that is a great success to start off with) and then recall that this feeling of discomfort is a (welcome-able) signal to do the Work (assert personal responsibility / sovereignty). You can imagine putting on your Work Mind hat.
And burn through…. ‘We can’t go over / round it. Oh no! We’ve got to go through it!’
Softly. Burn softly, dear heart.
Got it. Softly does it. No ‘jack-in-the-boxing’. Thank you.
Today I am wearing my Work Mind hat (no ‘jack-in-the-boxing’)
Day 40! They say that it takes 40 days of focus for a change to occur. What has changed, and what is still for changing?
‘Change’ is not necessarily the goal in this project. Increased ‘awareness’ is, however.
Ok, that’s helpful. So then, in what ways am I more ‘aware’ since I began the MEDS Project?
Have a look back…
Oh my W O R D. I’ve written so much!! Wow. Well. Here’s the theme arising for me, looking back on some of the posts….
There is so much good to tap into
In other words, whenever I stop straining / efforting / pushing&pulling, I am able to access an extraordinary well of goodness, peace, awe…. from right where I am. If I can simply hold the awareness that the good stuff is right here right now, then I’m swimming in biscuits. It’s the ‘remembering’ business that is the key. Right?
Sounds about right, dear soul. How would you like to raise the bar on this ‘tapping into the good’ game?
‘Raise the bar’ as in ‘do more of it’?
Augment the experience, make it more vivid… and hence more memorable.
Well, I’ve loved the games I’ve played. The ‘Best Bit’ game last week or so was excellent. It’s about snapshotting the best of what’s there, I guess. Something else?
I also tried writing up my Gratitudes / Appreciations each evening, but often I’m too tired.
What about here, and in your new daytime notebook?
Ah, if that’s not too tedious for people to read.
This exercise is not about entertainment. The work of mental retraining is detailed, ‘tedious’, disciplined… It’s ok to show that; it’s good to show ‘your workings’. Namaste, teacher.
Ok. I’ll change the template for these posts.. How do I work this in with the MEDS, and why am I still not on top of all of the elements? What needs to happen?
What needs to happen is your celebration of the wonder and gift of meeting your MEDS goals, and understanding the role of the higher power in achieving them on any one day.
No, dear soul. To relax into the truth of what is. To speak your truth. To express yourself as a way of ‘staying alive’. To stop escaperising, ‘because you won’t get far on foot.’
Do I try to escaperise? (Nice word, btw)
Yes. Whenever you are not tapping into the good at hand right now, you are escaperising.
It’s a mechanical habit.
Mechanical habits can be unlearnt. Softly, gently.
Help me, please.
Of course. You are invited to meditate briefly. Let this idea roll about your inner space: I am tapping into the good. Remember our ‘tap root’ analogy (from It’s Radical Love). Let the tap root go deep. See you after….
***
So, I meditated in silence for (what turned out to be exactly) 20mins. This is how it went:
I noticed I’d escaperised, and came back (to the moment, anchoring in breath)
I noticed the urge to escaperise. I brought compassion to it, but didn’t follow it.
Then I was able to stay a bit longer, with the breath – a certain stability started to arise
I introduced the idea of tapping into the good… softly… Breathing started to feel good. I started trying to think about what I would write down… I returned to the moment.
Strong feelings started to arise (frustration, rage, hate…) – I noticed the discomfort – I stayed
The ‘purple’ visualisation arose… Nice.
I heard noises upstairs… Time to come back? Opened eyes.
It’s all so very very subtle… And the urge to pop into duality is strong… ‘Tapping into the good‘ felt maybe a bit loaded..?
Only to the dualistic mind. Source knows only Good. And all the Good exists right here, right now, at the heart of this moment. Not elsewhere, or in the past/future, or in delay, or out there… Right here, right now, if you can but get still enough, and trusting enough, to tap into this moment itself.
Ok. I hear you. Thank you. So, today…
Your message for today is this: “Today I am tapping into this moment – rather than escaperising it, because in this moment is the Good to be found.”
Today I am tapping into this moment (rather than escaperising it)
What did I learn from my “Namaste, Teacher” exercise?:
I am prone to playing ‘innocent student’ to the ‘teacher-other’ in front of me – which is advantageous in that my learning is heightened, but perhaps creates a dynamic which is unhelpful for both…?
We are all actually eternal ‘teacher-students’
Real teachers fly ‘under the radar’ (and over the rainbow)
Teachers are humble / simple
LTB in Navigating Dimensions (p183) writes (in caps!): IF YOU WISH TO LEARN (REMEMBER) BECOME A TEACHER
I understood my mind/ego wants to “exalt/demean” the teacher avatar (flick-flack nature of ego); my higher self, on the other hand, just wants to participate in the work of teaching/sharing/encouraging others, simply, humbly, quietly, under the radar
And today, a quiet weekend day with my Love, my inclination is simply to practice inner softness.
The visualisation I see is an image of gently adding feathers to my inner space, one by one, with the breath. I know my inner being’s natural state is softness. My intention for the day is to slough off some of the tension of the week, and return to the natural state.
Today I am practising inner softness
********************
Meditation:
20 mins of MEDITATION? NO…
Exercise:
ONE HOUR OF EXERCISE? YES – 2h gentle walk in the valley with G
#STEPS: 8400
Diet:
BRAIN-MAKER DIET? NEARLY
DRY today? NO
MORNING: Coffee, Breakfast of Giants (sausages, rice, egg, bacon)
I am so grateful for the learning of yesterday. I set out to learn more about ’embodiment of new frequencies’. My oh my, my heart. Yes! This is indeed what the MEDS Project is all about and for. I am realising how I can no longer ‘intellectualise’ the thinking around this Earth’s, and all of our, evolution. If it’s happening, it’s happening through our physical vessels. It’s got to, as the key feature of this ‘Earth life’ experience our souls are having is… the physical plane. Our spiritual evolution as a species does not happen in spite of, or separately to, our physicality. It’s got to happen through it! (“We can’t go over it! We can’t go under it! Oh no, we’ve got to go through it!” Ref)
I recalled a video that came out a couple of days earlier (30 Oct 2018) which I had been looking forward to watching: ‘Collective kundalini, LightBody, Relationships’ by Lisa T Brown. It was the perfect thing to listen to as I went out to walk in the valley in the last of the afternoon sunshine. I took scribbled notes as I walked. Here is a summary of Lisa’s message, from my point of view:
We’re moving from ‘Linear’ 3D to Multidimensional 5D+
The dimension you’re in depends on your body
To change dimensions: elevate your consciousness and hold yourself in higher consciousness while your body’s rewrites itself through the activation of light codes
In the state of kundalini awakening, there is a constant energetic winding/spiralling up and down in the body – it’s clearing old emotions/programming so you can be ever more present to the moment
We can access multiple-dimensions according to the amount of photonic light we hold
You have to purify your life, your ‘identities’ and your body, for the incorporation of sacred geometrics (which go to where the matrix programming lies)
First you expand consciousness right out of the body (might think you are going crazy) and then you pull it right back in ‘for the embodiment process‘. (Sound familiar?)
5D life = ‘free inside’, new found freedom; playful inner child; sharing all your abilities; pure, simple, humble existence
How to get there? Integrate light 24/7; support your LightBody using natural resources; anchor new realities… or you’ll deplete your energy [aha, hence, fatigue!]
“If your LightBody isn’t your priority it’s a much more challenging process.“: only bring into your field that which uplifts/inspires you; talk to your LightBody; keep coming back to beautiful Zero Point (where you are everything & nothing)
You can see all challenging experiences energetically as the old unravelling and coming up for dissolving / resolution / transcendence / surrender of ego / letting go of old identities / clearing discordant energy from the body and cellular matter
Ego starts to shout, “Urgent! Help me! I can’t share or open up” – as it is invited to surrender. You’ll see this is yourself and in others
You can start to say ‘no’ to linear things which no longer serve you
The new is about: unity, respect, kindness, sharing, compassion, reciprocity, consortium, community, presence
“Unity consciousness is an energetic, quantum state of consciousness that you live from, and it’s going to replace our old. We relinquish our old. We trade realities.”
“The distortions {from across timelines} are held in the body. We clear them through the integration of light… through the LightBodies.”
Thanks LTB. Awesome. So…Maybe the MEDS are actually all about the embodiment of light:
Meditation: visualisations of light
Exercise (or Embodiment): walking in sunlight; qigong
Diet: light-filled. sun-filled organic green veg; grass-fed, free-range meat
Sleep: follow/honour the sun’s cycles; integrate the daylight; replenish at night
Anyway, what is the LightBody and what is Photonic Light? Scope for further study here.
After all that thinking and studying, I turned to my work. Often I dread turning to my work…. But suddenly I had an insight. Maybe our work is just about earning and paying our Earth Dues as a soul on the physical plane. I can potentially see my training work as being ‘teaching’, and as ‘dues/return’ for the incredible learning I receive from so many sources. Accounts of the afterlife talk so much about souls mentoring each other – no ‘specialness’ attached to it, or guru-ing – it’s just part of how we grow collectively.
Sometimes I feel I want to be ‘unavailable’ – I feel that’s when I’m LEARNING intensively.
Maybe my conscious ‘available’ state is… rather than completely open doors and ‘here take my energy’ as I often make it feel… instead, it’s about being in TEACHING mode… I’ve recoiled from Teacher Avatar because I hung so much ego on it. But I’m learning through people like Lisa TB, and other incredible teachers in my life, that this world needs us all to teach what we know. So no big deal, it’s just about paying our rent on earth… Relax, but take it seriously.. no?
Yes. Good work, dear soul. Today is about activating, and embodying, the ‘teacher’ avatar.
I could weep… You know… There’s so much sadness there… around teaching.
Be at peace. The distortions are worked out through the embodiment process. Embody the teacher.
Ok… Thank you. I will undertake this, whatever it means. Pray for me.
You can pray for yourself too, dear one. Remember, it’s as simple as that.
I pray for myself then. And for us all. May we alllllll become the teachers of that which we know! Amen.
Today, I am embodying the ‘teacher’ & honouring the ‘teacher’ in others (“Namaste, Teacher” – the teacher in me honours the teacher in you.)
********************
Meditation:
20 mins of MEDITATION? NO – left it too late… 🙁
Exercise:
ONE HOUR OF EXERCISE? YES – walking in and out of town for work STEPS: 8k
Diet:
BRAIN-MAKER DIET? NO
DRY today? NO
MORNING: My muesli, GF toast & butter, Pret chicken soup, Kale crisps
EVENING: Cider, Pringles (handful), Indian restaurant..
