Category: The Pivot Project

After the Peak Project I decided I needed to spend less time on these Dialogues of Discernment which were anyway for my eyes only, and repurpose my time and my writing impulses to my professional blog, where I could write about conflict resolution, and be more useful with my writing. But within a few days, the urge to write here became too strong, and I heard, ‘Sometimes we need to talk to you in private.’ And so, I returned here for consolation and guidance. BUT, several weeks in, I heard, ‘Pivot! It’s ‘Pivot’ not ‘Private’.’ And the Private dialogues summarily became the Pivot project. In this project, I sought to find the Autistic Zen Zone which would best give rest and nourishment to my beautiful Aspie brain. This led me to studying Zen Mind Beginner’s Mind as a thread through this project. What a good basis that went on to become, when our days of busy whirlwind productivity came to a grinding halt as the coronavirus pandemic changed life for everyone across the globe. Welcome to the Pivot Project (aka Private).

Posted on

Pivot 83: I am noting Heart Coherence

Things that made me say, “Yes, this!”:

  • Noom app – I’ve lost 10lbs in under 6 weeks
  • FitBit – I love you
  • Lee Holden Qigong – a highlight of my day
  • G’s lockdown cooking – holy moly, the man is on fire <3
  • How lockdown is generously reducing my stress levels and upping my routine
  • My lockdown routine – I’m autistic; routines brings out my best. And help me not to over work or underwork. A timetable makes me feel safe and well!
  • Telling the Simulator, “Yes, this!”
  • Thinking about my network, or Circle of 8, as Amy Cole calls it
  • Sharing sights of the SuperMoon with my girls and G (L at her house)
  • The old school friend Facebook group giving a virtual  hug to our friend who had just been discharged home from hospital after recovering from Covid-19 in time for her birthday. <3
  • Watching Brooklyn 99 with A and G. <3
  • Nature! The woods, our garden, the sunshine
  • Submitting complex work – yes, done!
  • These DoDs. I’m so blessed to have this learning space. Ty.

HeartMath Experience: Chapter 3 – The Science of the Heart (my notes)

Look! It’s what we were talking about. The torus, running through the heart…

Guide to Chapter 3

  • “We can measure that we are radiating this heart magnetic field and that our nervous system is tuned to this field and receiving information from others. What this means is that there’s a real energetic communication that is happening between people all the time.” -Rollin McCraty, HeartMath Institute Director of Research
  • “Learning to activate uplifting heart qualities sends a different signal from the heart to the brain. It can change how we perceive and respond to situations.” -Deborah Rozman, HeartMath CEO and Author

HeartMath Experience: Chapter 4 – Quick Coherence (my notes)

Here’s a youtube video of the Quick Heart Coherence technique:

Guide to Chapter 4

Quick Coherence Quick Steps:

1. Heart-Focused breathing
2. Activate a positive or renewing feeling

*********

I’m so enjoying the HeartMath work. It takes the Zen work, and it anchors it within the body, working with the heart’s ability to soothe and relax the physical autonomic nervous system.

Yesterday, you mentioned I’d know a “Yes! This!” because it would make my Heart sing. Is this ‘heart coherence’?

Absolutely! And the more you tap into heart coherence – the Singing Heart – the more available it becomes to you. And the more the Simulator knows to bring you more of the object of your appreciation, care and … whatever ‘Heart Quality’ is arising. 

So, Love is like the over-arching quality of the heart, and then there are all the variable qualities we discussed yesterday.

Yes, indeed. You know when you are ‘seated’ with in a heart quality in that moment, because the heart sings. And if you are in another state, your heart feels closed, ‘off’, incoherent. You will enjoy the biofeedback machines that teach you about heart coherence. 

I’m inclined to get one now…

Wait. Understand the purpose first, and get a little further on your own – then you’ll appreciate the technology better. 

Like I only discovered yesterday that my FitBit would happily track all the data for my walks as a ‘run’ even if I wasn’t connected to my phone, and if I was walking not running.

Yes! You were ready for the next level. You see, there is no rush in this. No need to push. The heart is a non-pushing tool. That’s not to say it doesn’t LOVE exercise! It loves a good cardio-vascular workout! That makes it feel alive, it reboots the electrical circuits, it gains strength from a good boost.

What the heart doesn’t respond well to is ‘pushing arising out of fear.’ That creates affects heart rate variability leading to incoherence. Incoherence sends mixed messages to the brain, fuzzing up the ANS and making your executive functioning confused – meaning the pushing actually reduces your ability to manage the fear trigger. 

Getting into heart coherence is good physics. You can play with this today.

Ty. I’d like to build on the “Yes, this!” of yesterday. I feel there’s more to learn there.

Excellent. Every time you spot a “Yes, this!”, sense your heart too. Pick up the sensations of the heart in appreciation, uplift, joy, optimism. And ‘lock them in’ with an anchoring mechanism. 

Hand on the heart?

Perfect. 

Sense the coherent feelings of the heart when it says “Yes, this!”, and breathe into them. Hand on heart. 

Tbh, I find there’s no much electrical activity in my heart when I put my hand there… Sensations of anxiety… Hm.

Can you bring compassion to your heart space in such moments?

Like Kristen Neff does. Yes. Then I can have the warmth of compassion that I am feeling fraught in my heart, and incoherent.

Today is about learning to note, ‘coherent’ state and ‘incoherent’ state. That is all. With self-compassion there is no need to be troubled by incoherence. We’re just bringing curiosity and the beginner’s mind. 

You can lightly say “Yes, this!” in Heart Coherence moments. And “Ah, Heart Coherence” in “Yes, this!” moments. 

In other words, spot Heart Coherence moments wherever they arise. Just note them. No highlighting needed. No frightening off the birds with your hand claps of delight at spotting them. Just note Heart Coherence and settle into it. 

Ty. I like this. I will work with this today. xx

I am noting Heart Coherence

PS. When you settle into Heart Coherence, that automatically, telepathically sends the “Yes, this!” message to the Simulator, without you having to get into the Head space to say it with words. It’s resonance that tells the Simulator what you’re vibing with. Equally, if you are tasering your heart with thoughts and images of chaotic things that distress your heart, the Simulator will assume that’s what you want, and bring you more. So we recommend sending messages of Heart Coherence to the simulator. Every message is a request for more. Your Heart – an electro-magnetic broadcaster – is the constant messenger between you and the Simulator. Keep an eye on the messages you’re broadcasting. You can learn to be aware of what messages you’re sending by learning the different bodily sensations are associated with which state. That is why we suggest you explore the bodily sensations associated with heart coherence today. 

Aha. Ty. That helps. So, it’s as if my heart is sending constant text message orders to the Simulator Deliveroo. If I’m conscious and awake and directing my attention to that which gives me coherence, then I send message orders for more good, uplifting stuff. If I’m unconscious or fraught with fearful or angry emotions, and riffing on stuff I don’t like, then I send message orders for more to fear or complain about.

Exactly. Be assured that you are aware of what ‘part’ of you has their fingers on the text message send button. <3 Don’t let your Heart accidentally put in an order for courier-delivered onions. 🙂

🙂 x

 

Posted on

Pivot 82: I am playing “Yes, this!” today

There’s power in saying “Heck! Yes! This!”. It shines a light and a magnetising force, bringing the object of our attention in to activation in our Simulation.

What people don’t understand is the following: 

‘There’s power in saying “Heck, No! Not this!”. It shines a light and a magnetising force, bringing the object of our attention in to activation in our Simulation.’

In other words, the Simulator doesn’t distinguish between ‘wanted’ and ‘unwanted’. It simply activates whatever your attention is shining its spotlight on. 

As Abraham says, “Say no to drugs!” and the “War on terror!” – these impulses merely activate the ‘unwanted’.

Can I just say, I’ve probably listened to Abraham recordings every other day during this lockdown… and I couldn’t be more grateful for the transforming illumination I receive from every sentence and utterance I hear. My life has been shaped by Abraham-Hicks. What spiritual education. Thank you, dear Abraham. Thank you, dear Esther. From the core of my being, the centre point of my heart. Thank you. For 10 years, I have learnt from you. You are LOVE personified! My thankfulness overflows. x

Good to see you shining your spotlight on our dear friends. 

“And are you knowing what you are wanting?”

Yes! And I get know why this question is so important. It’s not simply, “Do you have your wishlist to hand?”, it’s a case of “Keep your ‘wanted’ in mind as default, because every time you ruminate on the unwanted you’re simply activating it.”

As my beloved mother used to say, “Shrug your shoulders” at whatever you don’t want. (Namely, playground bullies at that time…)

Indeed. Wise words. 

I’m going to watch some HeartMath videos. Here are my notes:

The HeartMath Experience (Now Free) https://experience.heartmath.com/

‘Dignity’… =  “qualities of the heart” says Howard Martin:

Activate the qualities of the heart – dignity, honour, courage, kindness, patience, compassion, appreciation, care, valour, and the overarching rainbow which contains the whole spectrum, Love.

You can not feel stress and fear (Head) while the qualities of the Heart are activated.

HEART MATH TECHNIQUE #1 HEART-FOCUSED BREATHING™

1. Focus your attention in the area of the heart. Try to imagine that the energy up in the head is now flowing into the heart. Keep your focus there and breathe deeply and slowly in a casual steady rhythm.

2. Imagine your breath is flowing in and out of your heart or chest area, breathing a little slower and deeper than usual. Find an easy rhythm that’s comfortable.

HeartMath Resources:

  • HeartMath Science video: https://youtu.be/VsFBvvi3xOQ
  • Heart Intelligence book: https://www.heartmath.com/heartintelligence-book/
  • Science of the Heart e-book: https://www.heartmath.org/research/science-of-the-heart/ Yes, this!
  • Heart Intelligence book—Chapter 2 • https://store.heartmath.com/heart-intelligence
  • The HeartMath Solution book–Chapter 1 and 2. • https://store.heartmath.com/item/1064/heartmath-theheartmath-solution

****

I am enjoying the HeartMath work. I LOVED the HeartMath Solution book when I read it in about 2013…

I am glad to be here again with this inspired work.

So that’s a “Yes, this!”?

It is!

Play with that notion today. “Yes, this!” and “Yes, that!” Note, photograph, screenshot, highlight, capture on paper, anchor physically. Practise scanning your horizon for sights, ideas, objects, opportunities that make you say “Yes, this!” and “Yes, that!” Make that the focus of your magnificent, magnifying attention today. 

Awesome. I love this as a game.  Ty xxx

I am playing “Yes, this!” today

PS. You’ll know it’s a “Yes, this!” because it will make your Heart sing. 

Ooh! Cool. Ok. Duly noted!

**********

PPS. I just rediscovered this poem I wrote in another era. How my Simulation has changed, as it were…. Ty for the mentoring over these years.

 

Eurydice’s Civilisation Sickness 

We the depressed, the addicted, 

the anxious, the traumatised, 

the isolated autists, 

the chronically alone. 

We are not ill;

We are but sickened. 

We have seen that which cannot be unseen 

And felt too deeply in a world 

Unknowingly insane. 

We have been persuaded, 

good souls that we are, 

to believe a lie: 

that it is we who are broken, 

not this civilisation 

painstakingly built 

on the vainglory of reason. 

We the mentally ill

Are not the insane

But the awakeners 

From the trance of

Of soulless cities 

Where you and I are made two 

Not one. 

We are not broken. 

All that ruptured was our trance,

Our sweet fantasy 

That hell was heaven.

Oh blessèd awakening

With what pangs you birth our new mind. 

My wild, free-associating grief

Is the only possession

I own

And 

I own 

It may possess me. 

Does it keen through me

Or I through it? 

We hobble from one rational cure

To the next, 

Each time leaving 

By one of two doors:

If we are ‘lucky’, we shall have been 

Converted to the dogma of reason,

Seduced by the sirens of sanity,

Called to the land of the lotus eaters. 

But if we are true, 

We shall instead slope away, 

Skittering, 

Baffled, bruised,

Confused and blue.

There is nothing civilised about civilisation. 

Civilisation is a myth we were sold. 

So I say this: fling open the gates of your outpost of hell, and run, 

For the hills

For the wilds

For the rivers and streams

Where the grand expanse teems 

With screeches and caws

Wordless

Irrational

With an order of Life

Which will not be ordered

Or tidied

Or neatened 

Or cured

Or urged to make sense.

Too sensual to be sanitised,

Your maddened brain. 

Could you but find 

That door out of your mind!

Should you find it,

Run through!

Don’t look back 

Orpheus

For you are leading me to safety:

Where the heron hides.

There…

There lies the consolation of my soul.

 

AT 29feb2016
Bath

 

Posted on

Pivot 81: I am welcoming dignity home

To the one whose forgiveness I hadn’t dared ask

Bless you for your words of kindness

Thank you for your stubbornness

Never letting the connection go

Until truths had been uttered

Not abroad as dreaded

But to one another

With mutual care

With love

Freely.

 

Exceptional heart coherence occurred yesterday. Just as I started a session with my therapist, I got a notification of a message from someone whose mere remembrance brought up in me a tsunami of unhealed grief, which poured out in the session. I explored my painfully-long defensive silence-keeping, and the fear of ‘detonation’ – and came to the insight that it was better to ‘speak my truth’ than hold silence in future.

Later, I opened the message to find these incredibly poignant and beautiful words:

Hello, my cousin just died because of Covid. He spent a month in intensive care fighting for his life, but finally, it took his life. It saddens me, as is normal, but it also makes me think that we should take advantage of the opportunities we have been given. I want to start by telling people I care of, that I love them and to those I have wronged, that I am sorry. Therefore, here you go: I hope you know you are important to me and always will be. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I hope you are healthy and happy and enjoying life as much as possible with your family and loved ones. I hope you’ll be happy until the end of your days. If you ever need me, know that I am here for you, now and always. I send you lots of love and hugs. X

This message triggered an exchange of healing messages between us, full of unconditional care and acceptance. I was able to express appreciation, gratitude and remorse for hurt caused. I wrote ‘Please forgive me’ and received the reply ‘There is nothing to forgive.’ I cried and cried, both with grief and with relief and astonishment. You can hold on to guilt and shame for so many years, and a truthful conversation based on human love overrides those toxic vice grips. I too was able to forgive and reassure. I feel dignity returning, to us both. With renewed trust, I feel liberated from my impulse to hide below the parapet. What a miraculous unfurling. Thank you. May all rest in peace.

***Med15min***

What is the learning for today? How can I build on this gift received, for the good of me, and of all?

Liberation is an expansive feeling. Feel it. Feel it and bask in it in full appreciation. Like a bear coming out of hibernation after a long winter, take time to stretch your muscles and replenish your cells with nourishment. The darkness of winter really is subsiding. Knowing this helps you to receive the light of the spring and the warmth of the summer. Go ‘outside’ in to the wide world again. This time with service and wisdom. Take this dignity returned to you, and use it, for good. 

Yes. There is power and vitality in dignity. Uprightness. I would like to wear uprightness again.

It has always been yours. Forgiveness heals, doesn’t it? Support others to forgive each other, truly. 

Wow. Yes. Thank you.

Forgiveness is where reconciliation unleashes liberation. Broker forgiveness amongst the unforgiven and you will do well in your dear self. 

Oh course. I forget that. My work is the work not just of peace, but of forgiveness… Forgiveness of the unforgiven… Mutually usually, as this is not RJ… Mutual forgiveness. There’s gold there… Ah, and self-forgiveness…

Compassion says, ‘Finding where our vulnerability lies is the route to supporting others in their vulnerability. Reach into vulnerability. There is good work to be done there.’

Thank you. Vulnerability is the human condition really, isn’t it?

Vulnerability is the crucible of human learning. Love it. Tend it. Free it from its chains. 

Ty. Today…

Today be at peace with this new feeling of liberation, and the welcoming home of dignity. Feel your dignity at last, and bask in it. Cherish it. 

If you can truly embrace the feeling of dignity returning home, you will be keyed in to the gift awaiting those whom you help to reach mutual forgiveness – and ultimately to enter in to self-forgiveness. They will be able to welcome their dignity home too. 

Forgiveness leads to self-forgiveness leads to dignity returning home…

Tysm. xxxx

 I am welcoming dignity home

 

Posted on

Pivot 80: I am practising coherence

When I settled into that idea of generating torsion from my heart outwards, this concept arose in me…

Today is for me…  I get it. Everything in this day is a gift to be received. Appreciation is all that is called for of me.

With this insight I could stop worrying about what others thought. I wasn’t and am not here to give unto others at the expense of my own health. That is just not true. It’s the same for us all. (Hence the awfulness of sending health and social care workers in to care for individuals with Covid-19, with providing them with PPE.)

Everyday is a birth day, when you are in the receiving mode. 

Yes. And part of yesterday’s bonus was harnessing energy to push things off my desk like a snow plough.

Tell me more about this energy generation work, please.

You studied the Heart a little this morning. You are starting to learn (again) about heart coherence. When you have heart coherence, you are also generating more energy than you are expending. Incoherence, of heart or body or qi is draining. Any type of coherence is extremely enlivening. 

With torsion, it’s like you’re pulling in/out, up/down and twisting all at once. Like ‘knocking on the door of life’ in qigong. Rotating on a point that is also connected up and down.

Mastering the horizontal plane and the vertical at once: that marks the coherence that is attainable in the torsion field. And it is the auto-generating state. 

Practise ‘coherence’ today. Play with the word. Absorb it. Mull it over. Be with coherence today. 

Will do. Ty. xx

I am practising coherence

 

Posted on

Pivot 79: I am generating torsion – from my heart outwards

So, this morning I looked up those two articles from yesterday. Here are some highlights of what I’ve learnt when you google ‘torsion tesla’.

First up: the Torsion Field is a thing. Or not a thing if you take it as unfounded pseudoscience and a scam. Here’s a taster. Hold on to your seats.

Torsion field (pseudoscience)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Torsion_field_(pseudoscience)

A torsion field (also called axion field, spin field, spinor field, and microlepton field) is a feature of pseudoscientific[1] proposals that the quantum spin of particles can be used to cause emanations to carry information through vacuum orders of magnitude faster than the speed of light. This theory is the basis of a number of unfounded claims and scams. 

Claims Spin-spin interaction can be transmitted through space at speeds of at least up to 109 times the speed of light via a special kind of field, making faster-than-light travel, extra-sensory perception, homeopathy, levitation, and other paranormal phenomena possible.
Related scientific disciplines Physics
Year proposed 1987
Original proponents A. Akimov, G. Shipov

Claimed applications[edit]

Despite the several obvious contradictions with established physics along with associated statements by believers criticized as being “nonsensical” by reputable scientists,[6] torsion fields have been embraced as an explanation for claims of homeopathic cures, telepathy, telekinesis, levitation, clairvoyance, ESP, and other paranormal phenomena.[7] The harnessing of torsion fields has been claimed to make everything possible from miracle cure devices (including devices that cure alcohol addiction[8]) to working perpetual motion machines, stargates,[9]UFO propulsion analogs, and weapons of mass destruction (WMDs).[10] Some such devices, in particular the miracle cure boxes, have been patented,[11] manufactured and sold.

NB: one of the original proponents is here.

However… how come my dialogues proposed I start looking into this..??

[Just spoken to G. ‘Torsion’ is not the phrase linked to cars and velocity. I’d misremembered. It’s ‘torque‘!]

The second article:

Exclusive: Discovery of Tesla’s Torsion fields above the Bosnian Pyramids

I’ll just leave the last lines of the article here:

‘We are all just a part of the cosmic Internet together with all other cosmic entities in space including our Creator. The information transmission is almost instant regardless of the fair distances. Thereby, the Bosnian Pyramid of the Sun, on our small mother Planet, is a link in the cosmic Internet.’

Wow, the scale of this stuff. Whether or not it’s science or sci-fi, I love the expansiveness of the ideas.

Maybe torsion fields are linked to the qigong I do every day? [Qigong = energy cultivation or energy practice or energy generation.] Tesla worked on free energy generation. I get the sense that what we are looking here is akin to endless fibonacci repetitions, or spiral dynamics, which create fields of pure force. This is almost what is happening from the point of the heart outwards, in each of us. Right?

Now would be a good moment to settle in. 

***Reading Bringers(wow)&20minTimedMed***

The torsion field you seek to generate is initiated in the heart centre, and it is fuelled by your focus and your conscious breathing. As you just experienced. The centre of connectivity between you and the rest of the quantum field is seated at that magnetic centre within you, the heart. When that self-propelling, auto-generating engine  is set in motion, you suddenly have new energy within your system, and with that new energy, clarity occurs. 

Yes, there is real clarity! Also, the brain just settles into the alpha or theta state, right? And the autonomic nervous system slides from sympathetic to parasympathetic. This is mindfulness practice at its best.

This is mindfulness practice at its basic potentiality. If only you knew what you were really doing when you settled down to quieten your mind. If only you knew what you would unleash if you would but sit a little longer. But there is time for all things. 

Help me land and make sense of some of this torsion field information. Yesterday (or 2 days ago), Torsion was the name I blithely gave my Frequency Modulation Mixing Desk engineer. What’s arising? What do I need to know to be able to integrate my learning at the moment?

You are learning to settle and be present to the various elements in you which are ready to grow. Those elements are:

  1. your capacity for knowing and
  2. your activated free will.

You are ready to apply your knowing to your free will. This has been delayed at times. You needed to download more information for this all to occur successfully. Your ‘frequency modulation’ work is vital. You are learning to breathe into the tensions arising from the shifts going on in you, and in you all at this time of cosmic, quantum upheaval. 

What advice would you give us all for easing the feelings?

The advice which is relevant to you all is this: BREATHE. You really need to OXYGENATE your bodies to facilitate the quantum shift you are enduring at this time. If you want to make this easier for yourselves, you need to relax, kick back and breathe deeply. Really breathe it in – and shake it out. 

Like Deborah teaches. She knows where it’s at.

Exactly this. The body has much to purge, both for itself and for the collective. This is daily, hourly work. Why else would you be given this window for deep retreat in which to rest your body and exercise daily? 

Man alive. I just don’t know whether to consider this Covid-19 period a tragedy and a dark attack on our planet, or a gift from Gaia and the cosmos within which we can heal…

And here is the torsion, dear sweet friend. On the one hand, there are strong magnetic forces of perturbation spiralling downwards, and on the other hand there equally strong magnetic forces of potential spiralling upwards. The work of the individual sitting in this magnetic storm is to ‘justify’ the forces – as you ‘justify’ or resolve an equation, so that it balances out to zero. 

The zero point field is within you, at your heart centre. Use the tangible opposing spiralling forces as a guide. So strong are the forces that it is now very clear when they are running ‘cleanly’ through your heart centre. Before this period, they were subtle, and only those with established practice could sense the magnetic torsion running into the heart centre. 

When the spiralling forces run straight through the heart centre – and my goodness, without deep breathing and shaking out, this will be extremely uncomfortable – you will be generating a self-sustaining torus field. 

What? This is so cool.

A torus field – like the apple pictures….

Just two days ago, when I started playing with Torsion, I got this idea for something I called Fountain Breathing.

Fountain Breathing: breathe in from the reservoir of water and draw the breath/water up your central channel to the heart; exhale it out through the crown of your head, so it rises up and then falls gently back in to the reservoir, ready for drawing upwards again…

It’s the same shape as the torus, I hadn’t realised…

Now look up ‘torsion field’ images. 

Here are a couple…

 

Today is the day in which the heart centre is being awakened in the human race. The person must centre their self (shelter in place) to be able to generate torsion. And the heart must be stirred and opened, whether by fear or by compassion, by loss or by hope, by anger or by relief, in order to fuel the dynamo within the torus.

And that’s what the pandemic is for?

The pandemic is not ‘for’ anything. The pandemic is what it is. A phenomenon sweeping your planet, as a virus of the body and, in so far as fear is contagious, of the mind. It is causing traumatic deaths and untold grief. Livelihoods are evaporating, and some in ‘power’ are ruthlessly taking advantage of their security. Many are ‘capitalising’ on the opportunities to profiteer from the vulnerability of others. This pandemic is not merely a ‘tool’ of conscious evolution. To consider it so would be a fallacy. 

However. Human beings are ready to wake up. Tragedy is a great awakener. Would that hearts might awaken without an alarm. But the fog has heretofore been dense. 

Thank you. I hear you. So… what shall I do today, to absorb this and make sense of it? Please don’t say ‘keep breathing’… My anxiety woke me at 4.30am… Breathing deeply is like touching electric cattle fencing at the moment.

We are saying keep moving your body today. As much as you can. Keep a sense of flow. Your mixing desk works best when you are not ‘static’. 

I can do that. I’ll set up a standing desk again… I can keep moving. And my head and heart?

Let the torus flourish. Generate torsion. 

Ha… Honestly… I love your faith in my capacity for this! 😉

Capacity for this? You set out at your life’s origin with this intention. This is your goal not ours. This is your destiny. And the destiny of all of you. It is not a magic show or a beauty contest. It is just physics, harnessed for the greater good. 

Generate torsion, from your heart outwards. This is the new business as usual, ok? No one needs to stop the clocks or cut any ribbons. It’s the new normal. Centre in your heart and generate torsion. You’ll know when it lands. When it does, just note it and slightly magnify it. And get on with your day. No jazz hands; no sighs or highs. Land the feeling with a hand to the heart if you would like a physical anchoring tool. But keep the torus images in mind, and breathe like a fountain if and when it feels good to do so. 

If you want motivation, know this. You can resolve fatigue this way. Why? Because you start to generate more energy than you actually burn. Tesla said there was free energy to be generated – by torsion. And it starts with you and in you. 

Ok. I can buy in to that notion and invitation! Thank you! Be with me… Ok? Be with me, Torsion? Ty.

I am generating torsion – from my heart outwards

PS. Just found this for the scientist in me:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15823696

 

PPS: I thought , ‘It’s time to get back to the HeartMath Institute…’. I went there and guess what, they are offering The HeartMath Experience for free at this time to support people through CV19. 🙂 I’ve signed up…

https://experience.heartmath.com/course

 

Posted on

Pivot 78: I am playing with Torsion

I set out to use my Frequency Modulation Mixing Desk to master my frequencies yesterday, while running a classy 4 Hour WorkDay… aaaaand seemingly unleashed some energetic storm:

I ended up spending 4 hours – yes 4 hours – working on getting on to a conferencing platform for a webinar I’m giving next week. And around that, wifi and computers were dancing all over the place. I got animated on a phone call, and gave myself a sudden startling, painful head rush (excess/trapped qi?). G said my energy had been all over the place all day – and he has never said that before. The exercise I’d wanted to do was to list:

  • Frequency raisers
  • Frequency tasers

And seemingly I was in taser mode all day! Everything I touched got zapped. So, wth..?

Settle in, sausage. We’ve got stuff to discuss. 

Awesome. Ty.

Time to meditate first. We need to meet you in a different state of mind. Let the boiling water cool a bit. 

Ah… yes. My head is a bit ‘heated’. I’ll turn the ‘kettle’ off and wait a while…

***Reading of Bringers and 20 min med***

Welcome back. 

Thank you. I feel cooler of head.

The topic for today is The Simulation. 

Excellent.

Yesterday you found the new TV programme, Upload. 

We did. OMG. I resonated.

Indeed. You liked the idea of the human being uploaded into the virtual reality afterlife, and having instant constant access to an Angel who would meet all needs. 

Very much.

Welcome to your reality. Not so ‘virtual’ on the inside, is it? 

And what do you mean by this?

We mean welcome to the paradigm in which all seems so real, and yet… is very much a simulation in which all is instantly changeable – ‘mutable‘. You just haven’t learnt the functionality yet. For example, the Angel. You barely ever call on your Angel. 

Ha! It’s true.

Your Angel is the sound engineer on the Frequency Modulation Mixing Desk. You are in the studio. Your Angel is out on the desk. You two are in constant, dynamic communication. If you want. If you will. 

You can ask your Angel to tweak and twiddle the frequency mix at any time. 

Just like Nathan and Nora in Upload. He is in the VR, and she is on the control desk outside. The communication is telepathic, but also she turns up in his reality as a person-like avatar at any time.

And so your Angel is always on the desk, and can also turn up as a person-like Avatar at any time. 

Are you my Angel?

Of course. And yet… 

Can you be clear?

Not really. “It’s company policy.” 

Haha. Like ‘Horizen’ in the programme.

So is this why, last week, you suggested the idea of imagining that ‘in a year, the simulator would be switched off’? This is all hugely overlapping. I hadn’t heard of Upload, and it came out yesterday (the day we watched it) and G just put it on… Is this all going somewhere…?

Yes and no. There would need to be somewhere to go, and for that you need space and time to be… ‘real’. 

Very… funny/true?!

Where it is going is this. You are being invited to expand your awareness beyond the ‘here and now’ to the ‘there and now’. This means the following. Life has slowed right down in this quarantine, and become incredibly peaceful, has it not? The only turbulence remains:

  1. On your screens as you reach out to discern what is going on… the actuality of which you can not truly know, especially filtered through one medium or another. (The external)
  2. In your energetic sphere. (The internal)

Our suggestion is that: 

  1. You turn off the VR world in your ‘news’ screens for now. You cease and desist the work of discerning the outside sphere, for now. (The external)
  2. You turn in to your energetic sphere, and work with that, learning in this time of isolation how to use your Frequency Modulation Mixing Desk, via contact with your Sound Engineer, or Angel. (The internal)

That seems eminently sensible. A good use of this time. I mean, there’s still plenty for me to practise on. It’s not as if there’s just ‘sitting around’ to be done for me in this time… I’m juggling work. Yesterday was such a sh*tstorm I’m going to need to work through most of today – a Saturday…

You’ve put the kettle on again. Switch it off and let’s cool the waters for a second. 

You have a Sound Engineer on your Frequency Modulation Mixing Desk. Did you hear that? You’ve got invisible head phones on. So have they. You are in constant communication. They have the controls to everything you could want modulated. And they are entirely, 100% on your side. They are guided by you and your free will, so they will do whatever you like, but they are borne out of Source, so their real skill-set is LightWork.  

Wow. Beautiful. Hello, Sound Engineer. So, you’re like Nora. I can think thoughts to you. You want the best for me. You have full control of the VR world I’m in and can sort everything. I guess there’s a time lag, right?

Right. You put in the request, but if you’re not believing or expecting the request to be met, it gets stuck or delayed in the system. That’s just how the VR works. It’s not so much a glitch in design as a challenge through which you can learn to become completely clear in your detachment about receiving. And that takes complete self-clarity, which means self-acceptance, which means self-appreciation, which means self-knowing, which means loving the heck out of yourself from waking til sleeping.

Once you log off for sleep, and go back on charge, you roam around outside the tight confines of the VR and get refreshed. The idea is that if you can know/love yourself in the VR landscape, you’ve really nailed that torsion concept we mentioned the other day. And that is… well… it’s divine alchemy. So, go you, sweet sister of souls! 

Man, alive. Ok. So… today?

The trick with all this is to start really small. “Nora, dial up my energy 1 notch. Dial down my frustration about this task, by 2. Nora, let this person know that despite the brevity of my email to them here, I do love and appreciate them. Nora, snapshot this scene in to my ‘Cherished Memories’ folder.” 

‘Nora’? Isn’t that the character in the TV show?

Today you can call your Sound Engineer by any name. Is Angel too loaded for you? Use Nora. Or Sound Engineer. Or Bob. Or Mixey. 

What would they like to be called?

Torsion. 

Ha! Excellent. Of course. Because that’s what we’re learning to work with.

Torsion gives you acceleration. 

I like it. 🙂

Ok Torsion, turn up my physical energy levels for today. Just by 2. And turn down my appetite by a 1. Download a packet of Optimism and Peace. Thank you.

So, Torsion is your Sound Engineer on your Frequency Modulation Mixing Desk. Work with them today, and have fun. Remember the communication is instant. Remember the aim of the simulator is to learn to ‘get on top’ of your internal frequencies, and Torsion will help immeasurably. 

Today, I am playing with Torsion.

I am playing with Torsion

 

 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZfZj2bn_xg)

One Hour Later:

What the actuallllll???

I’m looking at the BBC news and this story about Elon Musk turns up:

Quite some article in itself. “Ah!” I think, as an off-shoot… “The only time I heard about the concept of ‘torsion’ was when being taken out for a test drive in a Tesla” Tesla were interested in sponsoring my company. “Let me google Tesla and Torsion to get a better understanding of torsion in cars…”

And then THIS appears. Both of the articles. I can’t even GO there yet….

 

Excuse me?!?!? Before these dialogues I literally only knew of ‘torsion’ as with cars, and then the definition I looked up, ‘twisting’. What rabbit hole are you taking me down, dear Dialogues?!?

My heart is full. I’m mind blown, but also, you know I love this. I’ll read the actual articles later.

Mind blown. Grateful. ❤️

Posted on

Pivot 77: I am mastering my frequencies

‘Trust that if you jump you’ll get caught, not caught out.’ Well, I decided to ‘jump’ by playing a new Game that played risk with my old idea that I must work til the work is done of a day:                                     The Four Hour WorkDay. 

Some context. My days (and years) are spent trying to settle into a routine. I long for routine. It’s no joke that the executive functioning difficulties associated with autism make it hard for me to wrestle with time, and the general duties of the day.

I’ve been enjoying quite a specific routine during quarantine. It’s been a blessing, until I miss a bit of it, and then the whole day can run off the rails.

In powering my business through the ice-scapes of Covid-19, priority needs to be given to neither over-working nor underworking. Because I work so intensely when I do, if I work more than about 4 hours, I keel over with stress and exhaustion. In fact, tbh, 3 hours (including business admin and client work) is probably my healthy maximum. Earlier this week I also recalled that being healthy enough to work is a gift! And that working is really a privilege.

So, I’ve invented a game – with a nod to Tim Ferriss – called the The Four Hour WorkDay.

  • Create little cards for the different  bookings/customers – and on the back write the Tasks for the day ahead.
  • On a piece of paper write a table with columns for
    • Booking task
    • Time start/fin
    • Minutes taken
    • Time Remaining (of the 4 hours)
  • Set 4 hours on a timer.
  • Pick a Booking Task and go – noting after how long it took and either pausing the timer then, or going on to the next task on the same or a different sheet
  • Pause whenever you need to. Basically, you’re going to spread your 4 hours of work between 10am – 6pm. Prioritise moving the body, and not getting stuck on any one task. Good health is the priority.

My goodness, racing against myself and the clock, I got so. much. done. The wifi crashed when I had 4 minutes left and I just sat there amazed. I’d even got my tax return in to my bookkeeper – on the last day of April! The game felt like a jump from ‘I need to work as long as it takes!’ (because client care, and money…) to, ‘My time is limited, but so is my energy. I’ll say how much time I’ve got for work.‘ It was refreshing to set boundaries and terms.

*****

On my walk in the evening, I played with this idea of having a dashboard  of dials and slides in front of me, like a sound engineer’s mixing desk, or a pilot’s cockpit. The game was to twiddle and tweak the instruments, giving each one a name and purpose in terms of my own internal make-up and external circumstances. So for example you might stroll along saying….:

  • Seratonin, up 2 notches
  • Optimism, rising gradually to an 8
  • Stress, easing down 1 notch per ten minutes
  • Finances, dial up firmly
  • Weight, slow, steady decrease
  • Faith in my future, up 1 for today
  • Appreciation for my surroundings, raise to 9
  • Connection to nature, increase by 3
  • Patience with and mercy towards our politicians, raise by 2
  • Trust that all is in hand, up 1, taking it steadily

Some of it felt like ‘banking’ intentions and preferred settings for the future. There was no attachment to anything changing in the moment, though after a while of playing with this, I felt noticeably different in my state.

Your thoughts?

This, dear friend, is what we call frequency modulation. Can you imagine how extraordinary it is that you (all) are learning to frequency modulate on your own, in your isolation? In truth, there is no other way, but for some time you would go out to classes and receive teaching to modulate your frequency either up (eg Zumba) or down (eg qigong). Or you would simply learn to modulate by incessantly navigating the ups and downs of daily life out there. All in all, you’ve been used to a great deal of external stimulation to make you feel alive and to help you learn to surf the frequency waves. 

Now, in your quarantine, all of that has faded away. Like monks in the monastery, it’s just you, God and your lockdown buddies. How do you auto-generate the high-five moments, the relief of overcoming, the thrills of seeing loved ones, the dopamine hits, the seratonin boosts…? Well, by internal Frequency Modulation. And it’s a blast. 

First of all, as you have discovered: Frequency Modulation is an inside job. Oh goodness, it’s hard to articulate HOW MUCH you have depended on externals to set your frequency. You’ve been addicted to that. And it has both absolved you of responsibility for your state, and left you like a puppet on a string, pulled and tweaked by the will of another.

With nothing in your present conditions except the peace of your home and the very loving souls in it, it is truly up to you to set your frequency. 

This is so big. I feel the potential… I know how fortunate I am to have a safe and loving home environment at this time too. I just want to raise this ghost presence in my head space, of financial uncertainty. Please speak to that.

With pleasure. ‘Think and grow rich..!’ No, just joking. Not joking. Joking. Not. 😉 In truth, this is the moment for EVERYONE to rethink, or rather, re-intuit their financial circumstances. No one is bound to hard graft and financial uncertainty. This is hard to hear, especially for one who is compassionate to the plight of others. But we shall say it again: frequency modulation is an inside job. And our frequency sets the magnetic resonance of our financial circumstances. If each of you can clean up your magnetic resonance here from a standing start, you will have achieved much more than just financial security. Much more. You will have started to learn about what Abraham calls Deliberate Creation.

Frequency Modulation is where it is at. Don’t wait for circumstances to dictate your frequency. It is imperative you cut that out, because there are strong impulses in your field at the moment. Define your frequency on the inside, and consciously project it out. Not for the money, though the money will come, but for the LOVE it will bring this planet. At this time, breathing peace, unity, light and love on to the planet is truly the gift you can, each and every one of you, embark on now. 

Use your super Frequency Modulation Mixing Desk to tweak and twiddle your resonance – breathing steadily and consciously all the while. Learn to sense, to feel, to recognise and master your frequencies. This is your gift to your planet. If each of you can learn to ‘get on top of’ your frequencies, then light will pour in to this planet. Truly. 

Think of a sound engineer ‘mastering’ a track at her mixing desk. Yes, in this way can you ‘master’ your frequencies.

Beautiful. Tysm. I am so grateful. x

That’s a good start…

I am mastering my frequencies

Frequency Modulation Mixing Desk
Frequency Modulation Mixing Desk

 

PS. Tim Ferriss’s 4-Hour WorkWeek – a summary:

4-Hour Workweek Infographic
The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss – summarised
Posted on

Pivot 76: Trust you’ll be caught – not caught out

In my Breathing Bright Like a Candle I basked in the discomfort of my anxiety. And often, it would simply eventually fade away. And then I would note: “I am at peace.” Every time I could note my inner peace, it felt like I’d lowered an anchor in troubled waters. My boat had withstood being thrown about by the stormy seas, and held it’s ground.

Then, I had a radical idea. What if I went diving in to the choppy waters of my ‘rejection sensitivity’ in the same way?! What if I embraced my rejection sensitivity?! In other words, how about if I went out of my way across the day, to spot places where I could see myself bracing for rejection, and plunged in on purpose. I was due to run an online seminar on mental health for a workforce of 17 extremely stressed social care workers, working at the frontline of the Covid-19 crisis in the community, with some of the most abandoned, disenfranchised, vulnerable individuals, living isolated in their homes.  What if I owned to myself that these frazzled workers might well reject me as some harping stranger in their midst, and fruck it, that would be ok if so. I decided that my intention was to leave them feeling pumped up with love (and furnished with tools) – and if that didn’t fly and they ‘rejected’ me, that was simply what it was. Well gosh darn it if that session didn’t go beautifully: I relaxed completely (even when my tech failed up until the actual minute of starting) and everyone finished off smiling as we all high-fived each other in to our cameras…

Teach me more of this notion of embracing my rejection sensitivity, dear heart of my soul.

***Med:15minTimer***

In that meditation, I counted the out breaths, up to 10 and then back to 1. It felt so gentle after a while, like self-hypnotism.

It is helpful to be in an alpha brain wave state if you really want to communicate with this field of your consciousness. That ‘self-hypnosis’ breathing appeals to you, so use it at will. 

You asked about embracing your rejection sensitivity. What if we told you that there is gold in them ther’ hills? 

I would smile. 🙂 Tell me more please.

It would be a pleasure. If you relax into yourself you will see that there is a large heart in you which loves to love, and loves to be loved. It has experienced some queries and quandaries in this arena, so it approaches human contact with some trepidation. In other words, it can be guarded, dreading disappointment, or ‘knock-back’. What you can teach your precious heart is this: if another being knocks you back, it is because they are not in a state of readiness to let their guard down. That is all. When two hearts are open they connect fast. With this knowledge you can go about with an open heart in carefree knowledge that if you get knocked back it is because the other person is simply on their way to heart-opening. You know that if your heart is open, you can catch the waves with those others like you who are ready to connect at the heart level.

Interesting. And how do I know if I am going about open-hearted, or semi-open-hearted/semi-guarded?

By your state of joy! 

Ok! And it’s joy that is not dependent on the reciprocity of others.

Absolutely. 

And it is joy that does not recoil is it meets someone who is not in the joy state. Rather it blesses them and passes on by. 

And how do I get into that state of joy without fail?

By relishing the torsion.

Excuse me?

Torsion is the feeling of acceleration you get in a fast car – it’s the ‘pulling back while jetting forward’ sensation you experience.

And how does that work with me?

If you can brace yourself for the daylong feeling of moving forwards while experiencing ‘drag’ then you will not hesitate or falter when something feels hard. 

Well, that is true..!

Know that the ‘drag’ is where it is all at. If you can embrace the drag, rather than recoil from it, you can benefit from the torsion. 

Man alive. How well you know me! I’m typically a little drag avoidant.

That is because in former times, your torsion (twisting) experience was generated by others, not by you. The back/forward motion was generated by parents, teachers and friends. You are a beautiful free adult now. You get to define the terms of your torsion.

Think of how the juice flows from the orange when it is twisted. You are not meant to hold your juice until you whither! You are meant to experience the juiciness of being squeezed. 

You have taken things rather seriously in the past. You have taken being squeezed to be an insult to your person, or a failure on your part. You’ve dodged the bit where your real juice gets squeezed out. That’s ok. We completely understand, but know this. Life is fun when our juices start flowing. 

You’ve hit on something really useful – juicy – here.

Set your self in the juicer and say, bring it on! Focus on the juice you produce, not on the sensations of juicing. How about that? And when you feel the juicing (torsion), breathe through it. 

Like childbirth.

Like childbirth. That was worth the squeezing, wasn’t it? 

Man, two more perfect glasses of juice you couldn’t have asked for.

This is a completely new approach to stress management for me.

Think of those glorious American women you met yesterday on the seminar you joined. See them all jumping headlong into the squeezer AS IF it were a loop-the-loop chute at a swimming pool. They trust there’s a deep pool of refreshing water to catch them at the bottom. You can too. You too can trust that if you do something with a full and open heart, you’ll be caught – not caught out. 

The tax return, the debt negotiations, the blog posts, the emails, the calls, the messages, the books written, the videos made, the adventures booked, the courses signed up for… 

Trust that if you jump, you will be caught – not caught out. 

Amen. I love that. Thank you. What a wild ride. Just wild… x

Trust you’ll be caught – not caught out

Posted on

Pivot 75: Breathe bright like a candle

Shortly after yesterday’s positive start, I fell off a cliff, psychologically. Listening to my Heart it only said, “Rest, Sleep, Rest, Relax, Stop, Float About…” When I did collapse into bed, exhausted just from taking a shower, I felt, ‘I’m so tired. maybe my body is healing something it needs to heal’. I later counted 22 minutes of work across the whole day. I couldn’t stand the thought of it. Also, I finally started my new computer going – which took 5 hours to transfer data. My phone ran out of battery so I plugged it in for two hours so I could take it out for a walk – only to find that the cable hadn’t been plugged into the wall. Eventually, eyes spinning and distress submerging me, I turned on the telly. A 1955 film was just starting: All That Heaven Allows. (Nice.) It’s message? ‘To thine own self be true.’ Most bizarrely, when I thought depression and anxiety were on the brink of toppling me, a random black dog literally turned up on my back doorstep… He’d escaped from a neighbours’ half a mile away it turned out.

Eventually I made it out for a walk. Listening to Kryon, Lorie Ladd and Abraham, while once again lost in the beautiful woods, it became clear to me:

  • I need to learn to breathe
  • Why, because I need to get into my body
  • If I breathe I touch emotional pain and density – and that is the work – don’t shrink from it
  • Breathe into the density – and thereby clear it – not just from self but on behalf of our all
  • Inhale / sniff into the pain. It’s ok. Let it illuminate the Heart space when you do.

Then, today, I woke up with a panic attack at 4.30am. At 5am, instead of getting up as I would tend to do with panic, I decided to try to simply make an exercise of breathing into the panic, very very softly. I imagined myself to be a candle, whose flame was fed by my breathing, and the feeling of panic and pain was merely the sensation of the flame burning brightly. Somewhere before 6am I fell asleep for another hour of deep sleep and woke up refreshed.

I must keep to my routine today to get the best chance of staying ahead of it all, and it’s 8am now. Time for qigong. It’s chilly again, but I might go out on the patio anyway. Your message for today?

The light from your candle illuminates worlds inside yourself and out. Keep breathing. Keep moving. Get in your body and stay there while you do your thing today. 

More tomorrow – for now – keep breathing in and keep breathing out, as your dear mother used to say.

Breathe bright like a candle

Ty. x

 

 

Posted on

Pivot 74: I am tuning into my Heart and listening

Here I am, feeling good on this new day. The first/second day of morning rain since lockdown began 36 days ago, by the way. A quick lockdown update:

Here’s The Sun’s review the lockdown so far:

And #Panorama is trending this morning after last night’s broadcast:

(https://twitter.com/BBCPanorama/status/1254835404127326208)

 

Back to my real time perspective. Here I am, feeling good on this new day. I slept a glorious 8h21mins. Yesterday was remarkable.

I set out with the intention to listen and respond to my body, checking into SENSING and performing U-turns wherever I felt I was being directed to by the Feel Good GPS. (Maybe I’m so sensitive for a good reason, I reminded myself.) I kept checking in to and with the sensations of the body with the expectation I’d need to take action to adjust towards Feeling Good or Feeling Even Better. You need to follow the directions given by the Feel Good GPS to get to Feel Good Town! And mostly, dear friends, the direction given was:

“Giddup, geddonup!” and

“You gotta move your body”

The body was saying “move me!” or as we used to say up north,

“Maeve!”

So I kept moving: I did my qigong on the patio (I’ve bought the subscription to Holden Qigong now). I set up my desk as a standing desk with the kitchen footstool on the table, and worked for my allotted morning 2 hours (‘work as a privilege’ – limit work to feel good) while standing and swaying. Somehow, almost without thinking, I found myself posting my new (homemade, imperfect, but heartfelt) mediation brochure to my website in a blog, and then… without thinking on it too much or adding ‘excess potential’ but just sensing and following impulses… simply putting it on LinkedIn and Twitter – to my network of over a thousand people. Well done. It was, though I say it myself, really well done. I Felt Good to have done it.

I also decided to treat my training of yesterday as a ‘group mediation’: Start by ensuring we had all stated and explored the problem. Then use the session to provide/foster/define the answer. It worked! By the end, the team had committed to using the tool I was teaching them with – as the natural solution to their problem. Much better approach.

I also connected with my heart. I can’t explain… On my walk. I listened to these meditations by trance channellers. They focussed on the heart. And something clicked into place. I was/am in a different space. The voice of the heart speaks softly (while the head dictates and shoves). I needed that shift.

Lastly, I had the most beautiful news: One of the most cherished souls in my entire world (A.) went for a post-cancer treatment biopsy, on the last bits of unexplained shadows in the CT scan she’d had after her unspeakably gruelling treatment. Only, once at the appointment, the doctor could no longer find those shadows. There was nothing to perform a biopsy on. So, she and husband came home. Without telling us how the appointment had gone, A. set a Zoom call with me and the girls (her granddaughters) for the evening – and we were braced for the absolute worst. So this precious news was just the best thing imaginable. A. described coming into the drive on returning home from the hospital with her husband (N.) driving, and seeing her car parked there – and gasping at the thought that she would one day drive it again. She had assumed she never would. A & N may remain shielded in lockdown til next spring (can you imagine it???!) but we agreed we would visit when we could, and shout across the garden, and celebrate renewed life.

May I follow the soft voice of my heart again today. May I remain in the proximity of the good feeling sensations. May I learn more clearly today what it means to live and to live well – in peace, resonating with gentle joy. May I finish my day even more rested and replenished than when I started it, by knowing that the open, tuned-in heart is where it’s at.

Welcome to the voice of your heart. It speaks sweetly and softly, doesn’t it? It is so wise! It knows the directions of your inner being, which is to say it is your Heart that speaks the directions of your Feel Good GPS. Are you pleased to hear that? 

I am! I need this. Just this morning, I read someone talking about RDS – a factor of ADHD, but also autism. It stands for Rejection Sensitivity Dysfunction (here’s one earlier ref). It seemed to explain a great deal of my stress – about emails, comms, phone calls, texts, training… The only place I felt free of it was/is in my casework, where for once, the distress of the dear beautiful person before me was clearly greater than my own, and I could have the gift of helping them reduce their distress – knowing that their infinite vulnerability was part of the human condition because I feel it too….

(https://twitter.com/i/status/1254864542481264643)

One commenter on the thread added: ‘Forgive me if I’m wrong about this but isn’t this just anxious or disorganised attachment? It would make sense given the connection between ADHD and early attachment rupture/ insecure attachment.‘

I just want to raise this as useful learning for me today.

While we’re learning about the voice of my heart..;

Excellent. And do know that is the voice of your sweet beautiful Head that contributes the very ‘real’ RSD you experience. The voice of your Heart contributes, quietly, a very direct message in any moment, about what you might do, say, be or have which aligns with the feeling of perfect wellbeing. The Head is louder, and the feelings of dysphoria had become so normalised to you that you felt ‘floaty’ without them. Hence the tendency towards leaning into substances for grounding. 

And so, this rejection sensitivity which so blights my days with it’s lashings of guilt and worry… What does my Heart have to say on these matters?

The Heart simply says: ‘Tune into me and listen. Tune into me and listen. Tune into me and listen.’ 

Ok. I will. Thank you. x

I am tuning into my Heart and listening.